Consider what we consume from the moment we wake up. Sunlight, the air in the bedroom, coffee/tea/morning beverages, the songs of birds in the spring, perhaps the first thing some of us do when we awaken is open our phone. We consume through our eyes - pictures, advertisements, billbords, music videos, movies, tv commercials, behaviors of people around us; we consume through our ears - information that is shared with us, construction noises, music of our own or other people’s, conversations in passing and with strangers and familiars; we consume through our noses - smells of the city where we live, foods cooking, perfume of our own or others, flowers and plants in passing, even animals; we consume through our mouths - this is the most obvious and common use of the word consumption - food, drink and medicine (and sometimes things that don’t fit in any category); and we consume through our skin - products, chemicals from our furnishings and clothing, energy (heat/cold).
One fine summer day, I was walking around in my Brooklyn neighborhood. Around the corner, a car was parked and the doors were open and music was playing very loudly. The music was not music I would’ve chosen to play, but they had every right to play their music. What was unpleasant to me was the volume. I walked to my home, another block away. All of my windows were open. The loud music permeated my home from end to end and I could not get away from it. Closing the windows would’ve made my home hot, and not much quieter. The bass of the music boomed my skull and I could feel my organs throbbing against their container.
Yes, I live in a very populous city. Yes, I am aware this is “just a part of the territory” and there’s not much I can do about it. I could go up to those folks and ask them to turn down their music. Do I think they’ll do it? Maybe for a minute and then when I walk away, the volume will return back to its original loudness, or louder. This is from experience that I postulate this outcome. Do I want to take it upon myself to educate these folks about being a Highly Sensitive Person and expect them to respect that? Nope, that’s labor on my part I’m not willing to do.
In My yoga training, there’s this concept that doesn’t seem to exist in American culture: Asteya. It means not stealing and is a part of the Yamas, also knows as Laws of Life or morals. “But what does stealing have to do with me, I’m not a thief!” you may think. Of course stealing is commonly thought of as thieving possessions of others - things of value like jewelry, money, cars…objects. But stealing also happens with time, with energy, and with peace. Let’s take the example that I am living in a big city and there are a lot of people who also live in the city. The fact is, that I am unable to control what happens in my environment when I am in public, and I am aware that a lot of other people are most likely also in the same situation. But I am very aware of how sounds that I emit may affect others. If I am constantly babbling on and on and standing or walking close to someone else, my babbling would surely disturb their peace. If I took to screaming or yelling very loudly every single time I saw something interesting or arousing, that would probably disturb others too. If I walked around with a boombox on my shoulder blasting death metal, that would probably cause some disturbance as well. I take personal responsibility for the sounds that come from my person and devices, and I think that this type of self-governance is very conducive to a peaceful environment.
In a kink scene, what is consumed is mostly agreed upon by all the people in the scene. The obvious consumption agreements would be food/liquids. But also the music, the amount of light, even the smells that could occur. Some choose to engage in “forced intoxication/consumption” which can mean anything from poppers to poop, but this is ALL AGREED UP ON IN ADVANCE. This agreement is first verbal and then physical, but anyone at anytime can withdraw consent and ideally that is honored.
Back to my point. There is a lot of nonconsensual consumption happening in our world. Do we have a right to peace? Do we have a right to violate that peace in a way that infringes on others enjoyment of is an act of violence (to violate). We cannot close our ears. We could wear earplugs but why? It’s like leaving our homes wearing armor because we don’t want to be shot. An assault to the senses is not less than an assault to the physical body.