fantasy

Darkest Fantasy

Perhaps by now you are familiar with My affinity for the taboo? No? Allow Me to divulge. 

One of My deepest, darkest, and most highly improbable, morally appalling fantasies is to create a snuff film. The inspiration is partly from my idol, Hannibal Lecter, and partly from the Nine Inch Nails "Broken" video from some time ago and the controversy that ensued around it. I am able to conjure an inability to suspend disbelief because of how I know the world to be full of dark secrets that accidentally leak out, and to be a purveyor of some of those terrifying deeds.

The strong desire, need, be creative comes into play everywhere in My life, thus the snuff film aspect of creating something that will horrifically last forever.

I imagine this snuff film taking place in an old theater. Red velvet curtains, dramatic spot lighting, perhaps a string quartet playing some Schubert. Or Satie on piano. It would be a fantastically large production squeezed onto a small, lo-fi video recording device. 

The capture, torture and disassembly would be completely consensually contracted, non-violent and quite methodical. That's not to say that the victim will not suffer, because suffering is a large part of the creation. Tears and sweat would be collected. Moans and screams recorded, maybe looped back into the symphony. The actual “snuff” would begin with systematic removal of skin and placement of said skin into a pleasing design or shape, hung from meat hooks suspended from the stage ceiling. I would then proceed to anatomically disassemble the body as if it were a medical exercise of exploration. I imagine this would take some time, so a few short breaks would be required. Perhaps some blood painting on glass, and also engaging in some delightful culinary cannibalism during the break. There would definitely have a fully equipped kitchen nearby to do the gourmet exploration. 

I shall stop there, as my fantasy is just that, a fantasy. I am sane enough to acknowledge the horror of this and it delights me to horrify people sometimes. I am also in full acknowledgment that this is morally ghastly and would not try to make this fantasy into a reality. Inasmuch as some fantasies are best kept a fantasy.